Date: 28 May 2014 - 10 June 2014
Day: Tuesday & Wednesday
Time: 12.30pm - 2.00pm @ 5.00pm - 6.30pm
There are some principles of verbal messages. (i) The first principle of verbal messages is message meanings are in people. We should uncover and understanding that message meanings, we need to look into people and not merely into words. Different people will say different things, but mean the same thing. In addition, different people will say the same things but different meaning. For instance, "I love the color green" and "green color make me happy". This two examples is same meaning but use the different words. In contrast, "I hate chocolate" and "I love M&Ms". This two examples is using the same thing but it is totally different meaning. This is called bypassing. Bypassing is the miscommunication pattern which occurs when the sender and the receiver miss each other with their meanings.
(ii) The second principle of verbal messages is message/language are denotative and connotative. Denotative refers to the meaning we have find in a dictionary. It's the meaning that word's objective definition. Connotative refers to the emotional meaning or subjective. For example, (denotative) red is of a color at the end of the spectrum next to orange and opposite violet, such as blood, rubbies, rose. (connotative) red is represent bravery, China's flag, fire, etc. In fact, connotative can be divide by two categories. That are snarl words (to describe people that are highly negative) and purr words (to describe people that are highly positive).
(iii) The third principle of verbal messages is messages depend on context/ abstraction. The same words or behaviors may have a completely different meanings when they occur in different context. For instance, the greeting "How are you?" means "Hello" to someone we pass regularly on the street, however means "Is your health improving?" when we said to a friend in the hospital. (iii)(a) Meanings are culturally influenced :
(1) Principle of cooperation (four maxims)
The maxim of quality (be truthful, do not lie), the maxim of relation ( talk about what is relevant to
the conversation, the maxim of manner (be clear, brief and organized) and the last is the maxim of
quantity (be informative).
(2) Principle of peaceful relations
The principle holds that when we communicate our primary goal is to maintain peaceful relationships.
(3) Principle of face-saving
Face-saving messages are those that preserve the image of the other person and do nothing to insult
the person or make him or her appear in a negative light.
(4) Principle of self-denigration
To avoid taking credit for accomplishments and to minimize our abilities or talents in conversation.
(iv) The next principle of verbal messages is messages vary in politeness. Politeness reflect positively on the other person and respect the other's person right to be independent and autonomous.
(1) Politeness and Directness
-Directness are usually less polite than indirect messages. Direct messages may infringe on a person's
need to maintain negative face.
-Indirectness messages are always more polite is because they allow the person to maintain
autonomy and provide an acceptable way for the person to refuse your request (therefore still
helping to maintain the person's negative face needs). Indirectness messages allow you to express a
desire without insulting or offending anymore.
(v) Messages vary in assertiveness is also one of the principles of verbal messages. Assertive people are more positive and score lower on measures of hopelessness than do non-assertive people. They are willing to asserts their own rights They will speak their minds and welcome other's doing likewise.Some suggestions for communicating assertiveness:
(1) Describe the problem
- Don't evaluate or judge it. must be sure to use I-messages and avoid messages that accuse or blame the other person.
(2) State how this problem affects you
- Tell the person how is your feelings.
(3) Propose solutions
- Suggest solutions that are workable and that allow the person to save face.
(4) Confirm understanding
- Make sure your message is understood.
(vi) The last principle of verbal messages is messages can deceive. Lying refers to act of sending messages with the intention of giving another person false/untrue information. There four types of lies:
(1) Pro-social Deception: To Achieve Some Good.
- For example, praising a person's effort to give him or her more confidence or tell others they
look great to simply make them feel good.
(2) Self- Enhancement Deception: To make Yourself Look Good (but not all self-enhancement involves deception)
- Such as, you might mention your good grades but omit the poor ones or present yourself as a
lot more successful than you really are.
(3) Selfish Deception: To Protect Yourself
(4) Anti-Social Deception: To Harm Someone
The next key topics is disconfirmation and confirmation. Disconfirmation is completely ignoring the sender's message and his/her presence. On the other hand, confirmation involves your acknowledging the presence of the other person, the person's importance and your acceptance of this person. In rejection, you disagree with the person. You indicate unwillingness to accept something the other person says or does. There are 4 areas affected by disconfirmation and confirmation :-
(a) Racism
- Racist language expresses racist attitudes. However, contributes to the development of racist attitudes in those who use or hear the language. Racism exists on both individual and institutions levels, a distinction made by educational researchers and used throughout this discussion.
- There are a few guidelines on racist messages:-
* Avoid disconfirming or confirming to statements or message because of skin colour.
* Do not insult or attribute other according to race or cultural beliefs
* Do not generalize and connect extremist attacks
(b) Sexism
- Individual sexism consists of prejudicial attitudes and beliefs about men or women based on rigid beliefs about gender roles.
To be continue ^_^...
