Chapter 3: Listening

     Date: 20 May 2014
     Day: Tuesday
     Time: 12.30pm - 2.00pm

In fact, I want to be a good listener. I am so appreciate my lecturer (human communication) taught this chapter. This is because Today, sir taught us about "Listening". So, I should understanding about "What is listening?". Listening is an activity that involves receiving, deciphering and perceiving a message with intent to respond. Planning ahead for a conversation improves a receiver's ability to listen to a message. Listening can help us to play, help, relate, influence and to learn. Listening is an action that try to pay attention. However, hearing is a foundation step of receiving sound and also different between listening. For example of hearing, aircond sound, noise and etc... 

            

 There have five stages of listening. 

              The first stage of listening is "Receiving" (hearing and attending to the message). In listening, we will receive both the verbal and the nonverbal messages. Verbal and the nonverbal messages are not only the words. However, there are include the gestures, facial expression, variations in volume and rate and so on. 

              For improved this reception, we need to focus attention on the speaker's verbal and nonverbal messages, on both what is said and what is not said. Next, to prevent distractions in the environment and focus attention on the speaker rather than on what that individual will say next. Third, to prevent from thinking about how we will respond. Lastly, to maintain our role as listener and avoid interrupting the speaker until he or she is finished.

              The second stage of listening is "Understanding". Understanding is the stage at which we learn what the speaker means. We must take into consideration both thoughts that are expressed and the emotional tone that accompanies them.
               For improved understanding, to relate some new information to what we already know. To see the speaker's  messages from the speaker's point of view. Next, to ask questions to clarify or to secure additional details or examples if necessary. Lastly, to rephrase the speaker's ideas in own words.

                        The third stage of listening is "Remembering". Messages that we receive and understand need to be remembered for at least some period of time.

                   This stage can be made more effective if we can identifying the central ideas in a message and the major support advanced for them. We can summarizing the message in a more easily retained form, being careful not to ignore crucial details or qualifications. Lastly, we also can repeating names and key concepts to ourselves.

                   The fourth stage of listening is "Evaluating". Evaluating consists of judging messages in some way. Often this evaluation process goes on without much conscious thought. 

                  This stage can be made more effective, if we can resist evaluation until we clearly understand the speaker's opinion. We also can assume that the speaker is a goodwill and give the speaker the benefit of any doubt by asking for clarification on issues that we feel we must object to.  Next, to distinguish facts from inferences, opinion and personal interpretations by the speaker. Lastly, to identify any biases, self-interests, or prejudices that may lead the speaker to slant unfairly what is presented.

                     The last stage of listening is "Responding". It occurs in two phrases: (1) Responses we make while the speaker is talking [backchanneling cues to let the speaker know we are paying attention~> i see.  (2) Responses we make after the speaker has stopped talking.

                      This stage can be made more effective, if we express support for the speaker by using varied backchanneling cues. For instance, saying "uh-huh" throughout, may it appear that we aren't really listening. Next, to express support for the speaker in the final responses. The last point is state our thoughts and feelings as own, using I-messages. For example, say "I think the new proposal will entail greater expense than you outlined".

                    The Next subtopics is "Listening and Culture". "Why listening is difficult?". This is because of the inevitable differences in the communication systems between speaker and listener. Also each person has had a unique set of experiences, each person's communication and meaning system is going to be different from every other person's. It will be more difficult when the speaker and listener come from different cultures. 

                     There have some diversity of listening and culture. The first diversity of listening and culture is "Language and Speech". Every individual speaks an idiolect. A unique variation of the language. Speakers and listeners who have different native languages and who may have learned English as a second language have differences in meaning. 

                    The second diversity of listening and culture is "Nonverbal Behavioral Differences". Speakers from different cultures have different display rules (cultural rules that govern which nonverbal behaviors are appropriate and which are inappropriate in a public setting. Listen consists verbal and nonverbal messages. If verbal and nonverbal contradict with what we expect, it will become noise or interference. 

                    The next diversity of listening and culture is "Direct and Indirect Styles". Direct style is like "say what you mean and mean what you say". It more likely the individualism. Individualism involves putting personal goals ahead of group goals and defining one's identity in terms of personal attributes rather than group memberships. (Individualism more focus on himself/herself.) Indirect styles is "they emphasize politeness and maintaining a positive public image rather than absolute truth". It more likely the collectivism. Collectivism involves putting group goals ahead of a personal goals and defining one's identity in terms of the groups one belongs to (such as one's family,work group, social class and so on.     

                    The fourth diversity of listening and culture is "Balance of Story Versus Evidence". In some cultures, most people want evidence before making decisions rather than critical thinking. In contrast, in some cultures, they may be more influenced by the world of high credibility source. 

                     In my opinion, the "credibility" is the most important of listening and cultures. In some cultures people would claim that competence is the most significant factor in, say, the choice of a teacher for their preschool children. On the other hand, in other cultures the most important factor might be the goodness or morality of the teacher.                      And the last point is "Feedback". Members of some cultures give very direct and honest feedback. Speaker (US) expect the feedback to be a forthright reflection of what their listeners are feeling. In other cultures (Japan and Korea), it's more important to be positive than to be truthful, so people may respond with positive feedback even though they don't actually feel positive.

                          How to listening more effectively? There 4 ways listen more effectively. The first way of listening effectively is "Participatory and Passive Listening". Physically and mentally engage  in the sharing of meaning. Passive listener suspends judgment and just listen only. Passive listener accepts everything, not evaluate and also supports, not intrude.
                          The second way of listening effectively is “Emphatic and Objective Listening". That means to listen empathically. We also feel with them (feel what they feel). So, that we can see the world as they see. It helps us understand what a person means and what the person is feeling. Also listen more objectively.
                         The next way of listening effectively is "Nonjudgmental and Critical Listening". We must listen with open mind. We need to avoid distorting messages and to prevent filtering out unpleasant or undesirable messages.
                          In addition, the last way of listening effectively is "Surface and Depth Listening". This means to distinguish the surface (literal) and depth meaning of the communication.

To be continue ^_^....